Hold up....wait a minute...SLOW DOWN

Well here it is the end of January. I turn around and the month is gone and I mean GONE! Where did it go? I am the only one who's life is speeding by at incredible speeds? Am I the only one secretly wanting something to pull me over and make me STOP?

I assume not  and if you know me I am sure you are also probably thinking "well....you do it to yourself!". I have had a struggle lately which I really only can interpret as God tugging at my heart to make a change.

But where do I start? What is it God wants now?!? (don't take that in a negative tone...wait maybe I did say it in a negative tone) Sigh.....

Long blog short is God hit me hard this last week and as usual it's when I don't expect it or see it coming. He's good about being sneaky like that! But what is He saying??? I recently worked with my students on a Mental Health lab called "hearing voices". I am starting to think maybe I have this condition :).

I feel God calling me to follow my heart, follow my passions and truly pour myself into what I love. I follow Proverbs 31 Ministries on Facebook. (If you don't you should too... http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Proverbs-31-Ministries/99550061960 ). Today this was the post

And of course I instantly thought of this song....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBDN8yWyNYU.

I have always been looking ahead and now that I am 30 (eeeekkkkk!) I really feel the need to chill a little and just be in the today.

I truly fear the looking back and missing out on something that I didn't want to miss with the girls as they grow up. Then my heart goes into some unspeakable rate/rhythm that is more of a panic. But the truth is

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" (Matthew 6:25-27 NIV.)

 

I am realizing the older I get....and MAN it is feeling older and older, that I can not "work" to cherish these moments. I just need to LIVE them. I keep a journal for each girl of little moments in their life for them to look back on and I am WAY behind in jotting things down in it. I am going to get back to those little moments that will be important to them and calm down about organizing their bedroom closets....they will not remember that mom keep things right where they should go (and let's face it I am losing the battle of organizing anyway so win-win)!

 

As I was on a LOONNGGG phone meeting today for work I looked up from my keyboard and see this.... and hear "Here Mommy I picked these for you, they are beautiful and you can love them forever"!

 

 

 

 Even though I know these weeds will die in two days on my kitchen window ledge and I will have to be sneaky about throwing them out at some point so she doesn't see that they are gone I will love them forever because of the precious little hands that picked them for me.

 

You see it doesn't matter to her what grade I get on that paper I stayed up late to write last night and it doesn't matter to her what size jeans I can barley squeeze into today and it doesn't matter to her what is in my bank account. What matters to her is that I love her. That's it...so to my mommy and daddy friends.... Stop being so hard on YOU. It is not our purpose and I know there is a giant finger pointed right at my face as I type this. I challenge me and if you want to come along too to a not so focused but purposeful life one day and one sticky popsicle face at a time.

 

Blessings--

Stephanie

 

New Year--Back to the "Good Old Days"

Raw Milk

Homemade bread

Farm Fresh Eggs

Do you ever have that fear of..."What are we really eating? What am I feeding my kids and family?"

I DO!

Just like any new year I always try to reflect on what I can do to better our lives. It really isn't mine that I am usually concerned with (although diet and exercise always creep in there somewhere). I am always thinking of how to better the health and quality of my families life. The hormones and preservatives in our foods have been haunting me for quite sometime now. For a while when we were in Missouri I only bought Braums milk because it was supposed to be hormone free. But it was a good 15+ miles away from my home town store so convince usually won out over better health choices. Living in a bigger city now I am a little more blessed with choices of "organic" things to purchase.

BUT--- What is really organic?? And is that really what I am after? The fancy labels and boasting price tags sure don't seem to appeal to me or my family of 5's grocery budget. I really want the knowledge of how to provide a safe and healthy lifestyle to my kiddos with the peace of mind of what I am giving them at the table (or in their sippy cups).

I have recently found that I LOVE to cook. Somehow it is soothing to me and I think in a twisted way it is a tool I use to please others and reap the rewards of someone praising or loving a meal that I have made (be honest you feel it too!!) Or is it that after a long day working behind a computer or with patients that I feel like I really could "rock the house-wife" lifestyle and enjoy proving it to myself? Either way it is something I enjoy doing and really want to pass this passion onto my girls. I also have to admit when I made my friend Misty's famous dinner rolls two group gatherings in a row and there were nothing but crumbs left each time I went to bed feeling very satisfied...maybe it's some sort of an addiction.

Back to the Healthy talk...If I could do it anyway I truly would be living on Green Acres ("Faaarrmmm living is the life for me"). Seriously though we would love to have a lot of land and a barn and our own horses, cows, chickens, pigs, goats; you name it. But we are currently living a little too close to the city for this to be accepted by my neighbors I am sure! My recent research has lead me looking for local farmers markets. I have found (thanks to my friend Leah) a wonderful Mexican open air market where we can stock up on fresh fruits and veggies and across the street is a Hispanic Bakery with wonderful fresh breads and tortillas. I am in search of local farm fresh eggs and my milk research continues. I have been reading from other bloggers about raw milk and how it is a much healthier fat. There are many links about how to drink it and how to store it too. I must say I am very excited to give it a try. It does meet my biggest concern of not having the hormones added. http://www.thehealthyhomeeconomist.com/how-to-drink-raw-milk-even-when-unsure-of-your-source/

The research that is keeping me up at night is concerning early puberty in girls and the link related to hormones that are infused into the meat, eggs, and dairy products that we purchase and feed our families.

Well I am off to dream of owning my own cow and chickens...I would love to know others thoughts if you have some in site into my research obsession!

Stephanie



~New to the Bloggers life~

12-29-2011

This is my first blogging experience. I love to journal and have a passion to publish in the future...so the blogging begins. I am a very carefree and passionate person at the same time. I am truly devoted to my precious little family of 5. My focus for this blog is to document how a Christian wife, mother, nurse, educator, and student can do it all and do it well (well that is the goal...the process of attempting is what is really worth reading). I may find I end up writing comics! I am learning so much daily about how to prioritize and organize this wild life. I know my goals for what is most important in life-- 1. God and my relationship with Him 2. Husband and my 3 girls! 3. Family, Friends, and others in my life 4. My career and education; but is that really how each day plays out...NO!
I look forward to sharing and the journey of what I will learn as I blog. :)

Stay tuned...Stephanie